There are plenty of dating rules that we all know about but they seem to be common knowledge, something that everyone instinctively shares and believes in. A lot of that stems from experience with meeting people in the past and going out with them. Some of it just has its roots in common sense. What are some unwritten rules that are vital when meeting someone new? They concern safety, like choosing a public place with people around and not going to the other person’s house. Also, some of them can be psychological, focusing on our approach and thoughts. Other ones center around finding out if our date will be good for us in a long-term sense.
This means learning about their views, beliefs, plans for the future, how they see relationships, contraception, being loyal to the other person, if they believe in soulmates. Read on and see if there is anything that you haven’t heard about yet when it comes to rules when dating!
When to meet for the first time – sooner or later?
It can be safely assumed that there are two types of people in this debate. A large group seems to think that there is no reason to rush into the first date – it should be the priority to get to know the other person, learn more details and stories. It appears to be a reasonable approach but then scheduling the date sooner can save us a lot of time, both if everything works out and if we decide that, well, this was a double date in a way – both the first and last one.
Texting will not show us what chemistry we have together, how we talk and interact, and how at ease we feel around them. There are only perks to this – if you click, great, you will get to spend more time together. If you don’t, you will not lose any more time and will be able to move on to another candidate.
But, as it tends to be, not every situation is so black-and-white. It makes no sense to make an appointment by force. The most common advice that Tinder newbies hear would probably have to be to listen to one’s intuition. When we decide to meet in real life, it is worth checking whether the person we are about to go out with is the one they say they are. You can search on Google, turn to check out their profiles on Facebook and Instagram, or you can suggest a video call or a phone call before a date. If the other side dismisses this request, it is rather a bad sign.
Safety precautions to keep in mind in rules when dating
The first date spot always has to be public, preferably one that you know and have been to before, so you can ask the staff for help. An attempt to force the first meeting to take place at an apartment should always be an alarm signal. Among other good dating practices, we can mention keeping an eye on your drink and carrying condoms with you. You could also consider informing a friend about where and when the date will be taking place, as well as updating them if you change the location or perhaps decide to go home with your date.
Be watchful and pay attention to suspicious behavior – or behavior that’s just outright weird, creepy or making you uncomfortable. If they don’t take your ‘no’ as a ‘no’, but instead try to convince you to do something or seem to be very insistent in general, do not ignore it. Not everyone with these traits will be a bad person, but it is vital to keep your eyes and mind open to the other person.
Curious about more safety rules that you can benefit from while dating online? Find our dating safety guide to go with all our rules when dating that are described in this article.
Be honest and come prepared! For anything
Before a date, it is worth thinking about what to talk about, especially if we are afraid of having emptiness in our head and embarrassing silence. Music, movies, books, food and other seemingly mundane matters say a lot about a person. You can also make a list of questions that you want to ask the potential partner. But let’s avoid talking about ex-girlfriends and personal problems. Identify your needs and ask the other person about their needs and expectations. Be honest, don’t pretend that you are comfortable with a deal that you don’t really feel confident about.
If you are still getting over your previous relationship or are dealing with other painful stuff, you should stay home and reschedule. We have seen it many times on TV or in movies – a character goes on a date that is a bad choice and, as viewers, we clearly see it, but they are clueless to it. Then they get too drunk, complain about their problems, cry about their former partner or do something embarrassing. It will be less funny if it happens to you, personally.
Difficult and intimate topics
You should talk about your sexual preferences and desires. After all, what you need to cherish at the beginning is the freedom and thrill of being in a new, exciting relationship, if everything goes right. There is no need to hide what you truly want and what turns you on. It is also important to talk about what you don’t like and what you will not agree to do. Worry not – there are ways to make this conversation exciting and arousing for both of you.
And what will you do after a date? Additional rules when dating
It has happened to most people and you can probably relate. You go out, have a nice time, wait a day or two before texting them again to schedule another meeting. But they never text back, you are left to assume that they didn’t share your enthusiasm about the connection that you made. This may hurt, but many view it as an easier way out of an unwanted relationship. A much better option in this case is just to be honest. Message the other person and tell them that you do not feel the same way and don’t think you should hang out again.
You might also feel encouraged to stick to certain unwritten rules that are very arbitrary, like waiting a number of days before contacting them again. This is meant to show that you do not have feelings for them and trying to play it cool. Same often happens with texting back – you can be tempted to wait a few days before responding to keep them waiting or make them want you more. However, this may be quite stressful and unnecessary. It is a much better option to be upfront about how you feel and act natural.
By following these rules, you act in a more open, honest manner, and you have a much greater chance of meeting someone valuable and for life. Regardless of this, you can still just make a new friend if you are nice and fair, and that is something that will be a good thing at any point in your life!