In need of first date advice? Read on!
Stressed before your date? No idea what to talk about? Unsure if you should be yourself or pretend to get them to like you? Getting self-conscious about your appearance, humor, personality? Don’t worry – this just means that you’re off to a first date! But we are here to help. Read the article and find out what our first date advice is and how to handle the stress!
Don’t hold onto texting for too long and go out sooner rather than later
It’s the right choice to want to know the person a bit more before meeting for the first time. Not only will it feel like you somewhat know them already but you will get a chance to learn some facts about them and prepare potential conversation topics. However, do not make this go on longer than it should. If you do not feel comfortable going on a date with a stranger then try to get to know them first.
But if you text for weeks, then months, and never meet up, one of you might lose interest if you are hoping for a connection in real life. Give yourself some time to familiarize yourself with them and, when opportunity strikes, smoothly move on to proposing a meeting. Your first date will tell you more about them than weeks of messaging back and forth.
P.S. If you’d rather meet someone that you’ve unknowingly encountered somewhere, Coffee Meets Bagel is exactly the dating app to consider!
Don’t make it too complicated, plan something simple
It doesn’t need to be called a date. Tell them you want to try this new restaurant in town that’s supposed to be good and ask them to come along. Think of an activity that is casual but where you could use a companion. Maybe going to a bookstore if you’re both bookworms, going to the gym, or on a hike? There is really no need to plan a whole day out or something that requires strict planning and sticking to a schedule. One or two activities per date are more than fine.
If you do want to call it a date, maybe a nice coffee shop or Italian restaurant that you know well will be the way to go? Going to a familiar place can already reduce your stress by a ton! This will put less pressure on either of you. Make it about chatting and finding if there is a vibe between you. You will feel less obliged to see them again if you plan a whole romantic evening and it ends up being awkward or boring.
Key first date advice to memorize is to stop overstressing!
As common as feeling nervous before a first date is, if you are paralyzed with fear the meeting will never go well. That is why you should at least plan it in a non-intimidating atmosphere.
Choose a location you feel comfortable in. Try to start right and don’t be late or show up at the last minute. This may be stress-inducing as it can make for an unpleasant beginning, depending on the circumstances of your lateness. If you go to a bar, cafe or other sitting location, consider sitting next to them or at an angle instead of facing them directly. This will help you feel less observed by your date and will give you a chance to look around and comment on what or who is around you.
Come prepared with first date conversation topics and don’t forget to listen
Note that this piece of first date advice does not suggest that the date should turn into an interview. Think of some possible questions you may want to ask them. Are there any fun or interesting stories that you tend to tell people when you first meet them? Be aware of what you want to say about yourself and actively participate in the conversation, asking questions but also telling stories.
Don’t put the spotlight on you. Give them room to talk and don’t interrupt if they are in the middle of a longer story. Remind yourself that you should listen and do it properly. Ask questions about what they just told you and show that you are eager to chat with them. Follow-up questions can be particularly useful. You can mention something they’ve said and inquire more to let them know that you’re genuinely curious. This will let you score some points with them.
If the date is going well, act appropriately, don’t shut them out. Make sure they know that you are interested in what they are saying. If you want a second date, tell them. There is no need to pretend to be someone you’re not or act rude and arrogant. Focus on just having a nice time and figure out how you feel as you go.
Create a positive first impression
Make yourself memorable in the way that you want them to perceive you. Be careful when trying to impress them or boast about how great you are. If you feel accomplished and fulfilled, don’t hide it, but make sure you don’t instantly come across as overconfident, egoistic or self-centered. If you end up becoming attracted to your date, you will not want them to think this is who you are. Be natural, true to yourself and honest, but also careful about how you can be seen by others who are just meeting you for the first time.
Tell them about a unique experience you’ve had in life. Maybe there are some adventures, trips or school time anecdotes that you can use to create a pleasant atmosphere and make them drawn to you? Dress appropriately, depending on your plans, and smile! This is by far the best solution to spread happiness and positive feelings.
And the last piece of first date advice – Be yourself
After all, if you pretend to be someone you’re not, no genuine relationship can be built on such foundation. Don’t make up stories about yourself. Don’t lie about where you went to school or where you work. In the long run, if something is to happen between you two, it requires honesty to bloom.
You do not need to tell your date embarrassing facts from your life. There is also no need to reveal who your parents are or share dark secrets from your childhood. Do what feels comfortable for you.
The most important first date advice that you can receive is still to just have fun!
Go on first dates and stay open-minded! Even if there are many more first dates to come, someday one of them will be your LAST first date – and the following ones will be with your person!
And if you are currently stuck in the middle of a pandemic and can’t fully enjoy dating, we have a special lockdown dating guide to make your time in isolation a bit sweeter!